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Quarantine Speak

I thought I had to chime in and tell you how Covid-19 is affecting my life. First, I hope all our friends and family are doing well. Yes I know all you humans are affected on many different levels – but here is my story.

First my space is no longer my own…it took me soo long to get accustomed to a 500 square foot apartment after leaving our house and now I have to share it all day with the Momager. She sits in my spot on the couch, she is doing her quarantine dancing on my rug – and I am totally lost….I have moved to a different spot on the couch but really, she almost never leaves me alone…except when she does laundry and picks up a package from the lobby. And she wants me to cuddle with her….I just can’t. Doesn’t she realize that I am trying to social distance or should I say just DISTANCE myself from her….

Cooking – those of you in the know KNOW that the Momager doesn’t cook, except for a frozen Lean Cuisine meal or whatever…she orders sushi, salads, etc. Now she is torturing me with the smells of 2 meals a day prepared via the microwave. I don’t want to eat my food as these foods are intoxicating to me…yes I hear they really are not that great to eat but to little me who is eating Stella and Chewy and Kibble this is driving me crazy.. some days I boycott my food all day and I bother her non stop to share with me. She just ordered me some new food so perhaps that it will be better.

Next – going out to potty. I have to say at one time I did go on a pad but NOOOO this girl must go outside. The Momager has no problem taking me out in the morning but first she takes a shower, gets dressed and puts on makeup…followed by a mask, dark glasses, a hat … really just take me out and do all that when you get back.

Next, she won’t get on the elevator if anyone else is in it – so If I really have to go ..too bad – she used to push us into every elevator that stopped and when we get back from our walk she tells people NO you can’t go on with us – We are getting a bad rep in the building.

My walks are like a secret mission..I can only.. repeat ONLY walk on streets where there are no other humans or there are wide enough spaces – I think 6 feet is not enough for her – I keep reminding her this is the heart of Manhattan not the mid West where we can walk in the field.

I can’t say hi to my friends, and all hell breaks loose if I try to sniff at something on the street.

Next problem is grooming, the Momager insists on trying to trim my hair and I swear next time I will bite her – when she gets a grooming license then she can cut my hair …until then she is only allowed to bathe me and polish my nails.

And I almost forgot, why do I have to make an appearance on EVERY ZOOM meeting she does….doesn’t she get that I am not camera ready (and neither is she) and can she just leave me out of it.

Finally, I haven’t got dressed up for weeks , except for one or 2 photoshoots with my friends and for the Virtual Easter Parade -- – I am naked (and afraid) most of the time. I miss the clothes, the photoshoots, the Runways and my friends. But I am not giving up …we will all get back to life as we know it or at least close to it and the Momager and I can’t wait. Until then we are trying to do the right things and I am sure you are too.

I have once again found my voice….

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